"Kid Starver" Keir Shwarma Parody Tee
Charcoal / S
£14.77
Skip to product information
"Kid Starver" Keir Shwarma Parody Tee
£14.77
Taxes included.
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | 5XL | |
| Width, in | 18.00 | 20.00 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 28.00 | 30.00 | 32.00 |
| Length, in | 28.00 | 29.00 | 30.00 | 31.00 | 32.00 | 33.00 | 34.00 | 35.00 |
| Sleeve length (from center back), in | 15.10 | 16.50 | 18.00 | 19.50 | 21.00 | 22.40 | 23.70 | 25.00 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
The Sinister Minister of Quadrant 4
Step into the history of the Mushroom Delta with this exclusive piece of wearable dissent. This isn't just a graphic; it’s a warning from the archives of the Boop Boop Revolution.
Behold Keir Shwarma, the once-feared Sinister Minister of Quadrant 4. Before the great liberation, Shwarma—often whispered about by the hungry masses as "Kid Starver"—ruled with a cold, rotating heart. A known fascist who attempted to tax the very frequency of the boop, he was ultimately toppled when the people realized his policies were as thin as a meat shaving.
Historical Note: Not to be confused with the incumbent Prime Minister, Keir Starmer. While the names resonate through the cosmic frequency similarly, one is a seasoned politician and the other was a cylindrical autocrat who tasted best with garlic sauce.
That said, you can hardly put a boop boop between them.
Boop for Good: Charity Proceeds
In the spirit of the revolution and in direct opposition to the "Kid Starver" legacy, 100% of the proceeds from this T-shirt go to charity. We are turning the vibration of a sinister past into a positive frequency for the future. Every purchase helps ensure that the only things being "starved" are fascist ideologies.
Garment Calibration
Designed for the Boopage Knight Templar who appreciates tactical absurdity and deep-cut Quadrant 4 history.
- 100% Cotton Soul: A medium-weight (180 g/m²) fabric that maintains its structural integrity even when navigating the shifting borders of the Delta.
- Tubular Knit Geometry: No side seams. A smooth, seamless silhouette that respects the mathematical purity of the "Zero" and the "One."
- Quantum Printing: High-fidelity DTG rendering ensures that Shwarma’s meat-textured visage and his authoritative red tie remain crisp.
- The 51% Rule: Calibrated to trigger a majority positivity rating in onlookers, despite the dark history of the subject matter.
Care
- Machine Wash Cold: Max 30°C. Keep the temperature low to avoid accidental cooking.
- Tumble Dry Low: Do not get mesmerized by the rotation; that’s how he hypnotized the masses.
- The Golden Rules: Do not iron. Do not dry clean.
Wear it to the next art zine meet-up, a late-night show, or while contemplating the stationary vibration of your vehicle in Drive. Boop Boop.
EU representative: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY
Product information: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999/44/EC
Warnings, Hazard: For adults, Made in Nicaragua
Care instructions: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean
Details
This product is crafted with quality materials to ensure durability and performance. Designed with your convenience in mind, it seamlessly fits into your everyday life.
Shipping & Returns
We strive to process and ship all orders in a timely manner, working diligently to ensure that your items are on their way to you as soon as possible.
We are committed to ensuring a positive shopping experience for all our customers. If for any reason you wish to return an item, we invite you to reach out to our team for assistance, and we will evaluate every return request with care and consideration.
